Like many of my friends, I have spent 30+ years volunteering my time, skills, and heart in service to a hobby community I believed in. I stepped up because I want to support my community with my time and skills. Because I wanted to work as part of a team. Because I saw what was possible when passionate, generous people work together.
But recent events have deeply shaken that foundation.
I was unexpectedly removed from my volunteer leadership role without any prior notice of issues, without discussion, and without any opportunity to respond to concerns. The reasons cited in the removal email were very vague and confusing. I still want to learn what mistake I may have made and to whom I could make an apology.
I followed every official path (and some unofficial) available to me in an effort to understand what had happened. I wrote many respectful, detailed letters to leaders up and down the chain of command. I requested clarification. I asked for dialogue. I offered over 50 pages of documentation. I filed an appeal. I requested a formal investigation in two venues to uncover the truth.
In return, I was met with silence, dismissal, or rejection at every turn.
This experience has taken an enormous emotional toll.
But in the end, I realized this is not just about me. This is about precedent and the chilling effect it creates for others who are serving, or considering stepping up to serve. When due process is bypassed, when transparency is abandoned, when respectful dialogue is denied, it becomes harder for anyone to volunteer in good faith—especially in roles where tough decisions are required or where leadership visibility makes one a target for criticism.
And yet, I am not writing this to discourage volunteering. Far from it.
I believe deeply in volunteer service. Let us all be inspired by Jimmy Carter. I still believe that our communities can only thrive when good people show up, give generously, and take on the hard work of building something together. But I also believe that volunteers deserve a system of support and need to know the risks they may face. In this one role, I was not aware of all the risks I took on when I began. I had no idea this scenario could happen.
In the midst of all this, I do want to acknowledge one man—he knows who he is—who chose to listen. Though he held zero power to change what was happening, he offered something I needed most: compassion. He heard me. He spoke to me as a fellow human being. He didn’t deflect or dismiss. And while that didn’t alter the outcome, it reminded me that empathy still exists in this space, and that simple human decency can be helpful even when systems fail.
So I offer this reflection to those still serving or considering stepping forward:
Volunteer with Awareness – Look Before You Leap
Go in with open eyes. Volunteer with hope, yes—but also with awareness. Before you accept a position, especially one of leadership, ask the hard questions:
What kind of support will I receive if challenges arise?
Who has the authority to remove me, and what process will be followed?
What regulations are they accountable to?
Is there a clear path for communication, mediation, or appeal if misunderstandings occur?
Are there documented policies in place to ensure fair treatment of all parties?
How have those policies been implemented in the past?
Are these policies enforced by consistent staff members?
Understand how conflicts are handled. Seek to understand whether your organization has systems for conflict resolution, whether investigations are governed by clear rules, and whether those rules are applied consistently. Ask who decides when an investigation begins—and whether the subject of that investigation will be notified or interviewed.
Know what protections are in place for you—and where the gaps are. In many volunteer organizations, especially ones that run on goodwill and tradition, due process is informal at best. That doesn’t mean we should accept that. We must demand better—not just for ourselves, but for the health of the community as a whole. That may mean editing governing documents.
Build networks of mutual support. Find people you trust and invest in those relationships. Create informal support structures among your fellow volunteers so that if things go wrong, you don’t have to face it alone.
Advocate for clearer policies and more transparent processes. If you see something that seems vague, inconsistent, or unfair—speak up. Don’t wait until it happens to you or someone close to you. Policy is often shaped in the aftermath of harm, but it doesn’t have to be. You can help shape it now, before more harm is done.
And if you see someone being shut out unfairly—speak up. Even if you can’t change the outcome, your voice matters. Silence reinforces the harm. Compassion and courage disrupt it. One person reaching out can make the difference between someone feeling abandoned and someone feeling seen. Write letters. Have conversations. Set aside time to do it.
I am taking new training to ensure that groups I manage will get the best service I can provide. I manage theater groups, music groups, and women’s support groups. The lessons I learned from the past few months will fuel my leadership decisions in the future.
Be careful out there. Know the risks before you take on responsibility. Look for accountability, transparency, and honesty when you choose where to invest your volunteer time.
PLEASE READ MORE! EDUCATE YOURSELF!
For additional information, please watch my class recording from a volunteer education program I have volunteered for in the past on the topic of Conflict Resolution: https://youtu.be/1BI38cQtwUM?si=Q_aGd6sqCfCLmsfr
Also please read about the Chicago Theater Standards that were developed for theater communities to use consistent standards for conflict resolution. https://ut.uchicago.edu/about/cts and https://notinourhouseorg.wordpress.com/
Please read two great books from Dr. Paul Marciano who generously took the time to consult with me on this latest problem. Dr. Paul Marciano is the leading authority on employee engagement and respect in the workplace. https://paulmarciano.com/
Finally, please explore the many videos and articles on the Conscious Leadership Group website. https://conscious.is/
This sounds scarily familiar to what happened to me when I was pushed out of a baronial volunteer position. I really wish that there were rules in place to prevent whisper campaigns. I’m not saying that forcing an accuser to face the accused is necessary, or even identifying the accuser, as that is nor always appropriate, but it would be nice to even be told what the accusations or allegations are. Or what circumstances lead to the general displeasure with your performance.
Sadly, rules do not save us from that stuff. Personal accountability is the only thing that can. That’s why I teach Conflict Resolution and spread the good word about HOW people can do it if they choose to. I pray that all volunteers will step up to resolve their own conflicts instead of rely on the rules – which are insufficient – to create healthy volunteering environments.
I have served on volunteer boards and volunteered for organizations. The potential liability issues are rife and you do make yourself vulnerable even through no fault of your own. There is definitely room for facilitated training in this realm. We could probably write a book!
We could easily write a book! I have tried to offer training in this arena (see my link in the article). But you know that thing about horses and water.
The fact that this happened to you, the strongest voice I have ever heard or known in my personal and professional lives, for conflict resolution is not only unfair but profoundly unjust. I have not personally experienced this but one closest to me has. For myself, I removed myself from volunteering even before the handwriting was on the wall for them and have no real desire to be involved at all in our current location. The people here are cruel. “We want you to stay, please do,” they cried to me. It just adds to my experiences. I feel no loss, my tenure is short. But like you, this is a lifetime investment for them and it’s heartbreaking for me to know this has now happened to you as well.
I am sorry to hear that your loved one had this problem too. Far too many people do get blocked, ghosted, and generally shunned without any reasonable conversation. But thank you for recognizing that I offer a strong voice in favor of conflict resolution. I will keep preaching it.
Nicely said.
This is a cornerstone essay that people will refer to, for years.
Thank you, Chris! Coming from you, that means a lot. I do hope this article continues to help volunteers everywhere ask the hard questions before they accept leadership roles. Yes, it will make recruiting harder, but the alternative is unhealthy volunteering.
Honesty is something human resources issues have avoided since suing for it became an issue decades ago. But something like removal from a major position should be allowed some openness and due process. On the other hand, I know that groups that rely on volunteers often struggle with someone who is able and willing and reasonably competent, but includes a toxic aspect that is causing other volunteers to refuse to work with them, or upsetting non-volunteer staff, or something else.
Organizations can struggle with discussing behavior with volunteers and this doesn’t allow the volunteer to amend their actions or behaviors early on. They can also be controlled by people with strong prejudices, which will further confine, without explanation, that is considered acceptable.
And the other issue that comes up is change-of-command or changing-guard. If someone else comes into a position of control, their friends ask for positions they can give them – if they empty that position first. It is normal for a volunteer who thinks – and others think – is doing a good or great job to be upset when they are removed to allow someone else to hold that position due to favoritism or a general build-up of resistance to a lack of change in how their position is being handled. So even if you are doing a good job and want to continue to do it, those who make the decisions can replace you to appease someone else or appease people who deal most directly with your position. The fact is that a volunteer CAN be replaced, removed, etc. “We no longer require your services” feels like a punch in the face, but a volunteer position is not yours for life. And for other people who have wanted your position, the longer you have been in it, the more they start to feel they should be able to get a turn at it.
Hi Amy, I agree with everything you said. When you said “Organizations can struggle with discussing behavior with volunteers and this doesn’t allow the volunteer to amend their actions or behaviors early on” I understand and agree with that. That’s one reason I teach the class on “Conflict Resolution” to offer ways for volunteers, especially leaders, to TRY to make that discussion happen. In my case, zero discussion happened. Zero attempt at a discussion happened. Given that I have been teaching this class for years, published recordings of it (linked in my article), and been very public in how I approach this topic, I thought I was presenting myself as very open to receiving invitations to conversations that might be difficult for someone else. I did a lot to avoid this scenario, and I did not succeed. I’m still evaluating why.
Also, your point about change-of-command is significant. One level of command changed 6 weeks before I was removed, and another level of command changed 3 weeks after I was removed. All the previous commanders for 2.5 years beforehand had no problems with me. I genuinely wish the relevant commanders would have let me finish my term which was supposed to end January 2026. Why this action happened at the time it did is a topic of much debate. Sadly, no answers will be found or given. We will live with the mystery forever.
Thanks for adding perspective to this discussion. <3